im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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