If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I am one with the molecules
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
