I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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