can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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