Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
