Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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