If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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