you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize