I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize