It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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