i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
