1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
