She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize