i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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