I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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