O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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