Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
