would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
