There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
