$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
