I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
