ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
