She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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