Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
