dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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