Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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