his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
