All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
