Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
