I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
