I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
