I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
