This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize