If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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