YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Your penis caused this!
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