I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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