Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
