i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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