thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
