Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
