party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
