just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
