Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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