bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
