My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize