my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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