the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
