So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
