So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
