Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
