Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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