The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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