the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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