I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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