State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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