Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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